So why are obsessive thoughts so hard to tolerate? We can tolerate not knowing what we’ll wear tomorrow, we can tolerate not knowing exactly where we’ll be in a year.
We all have the ability to tolerate uncertainty. The more someone with HOCD seeks certainty, the more they weaken their innate ability to tolerate uncertainty. Paradoxically, the healthiest thing we can do in these situations is… nothing. This has some parallels to Claire Weekes‘ metaphor of swimming rather than floating you want the anxiety to go away, and assume that hard work is needed to make that happen. People with HOCD feel a strong temptation to eliminate uncertainty about whether they are straight or gay.
These can indeed be symptoms of OCD, but for some people, OCD can look completely different. If you ask most people what OCD is, their answers will likely involve a preoccupation with order, being excessively neat, or washing your hands. Therapists who specialize in OCD are typically familiar with HOCD, but most other therapists are not. One factor that perhaps makes HOCD more torturous than other types of OCD is its relative obscurity. This a large number for such an infrequently discussed phenomenon! It’s similar to the numbers estimated for Americans living with multiple sclerosis, and more than the number of people living in Cincinnati, Ohio. So a reasonable estimate of the number of Americans suffering from sexual orientation-themed OCD would be 315,000. Of those 3.95 million, estimates are that 8% of them have sexual orientation obsessions. OCD, the broader category in which HOCD falls, affects 1.2% of Americans - approximately 3.95 million people. HOCD affects less than 1% of the population. It’s also known as SO-OCD (sexual orientation) or “gay OCD.” It is a variant of OCD, and can have a profound impact on the lives of those living with it. HOCD is the abbreviation for homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder.